so far nameless...

it's time now
time I gotta let go
let go of all these photos
a box of who I used
to be
a boxful
the lid is overflowing
all this time without me knowing
just waiting to be found
finally
I revisit
revisit all the memories
a bird's eye view, me on my knees
I'm sobbing, get it out
of me

this hurts so much I take a breath I close my eyes I know it's best I gotta let it just

poor and poor
through swollen eyes I barely see you but I feel you make time stop tic toc I'm gonna shut
the door

it's out now
out and all around me
I pick up all the shards be
mindful not to cut
and bleed
I'm clean now
a sanitary landfill
all these contradictions will
someday be the death
of me
I love you
stayed through all my bull shit
and I can't say there won't be more of it
am I worth it to stay
and see?

*any suggestions on a title, I will gladly consider*

Sorry 'bout Last Night

well, another little song is here! I mean, it was bound to happen, right? this one's quite "country", but it's silly and lovely and not all that cliche... if only due to the lyrics :)

soakin up the last heat
sittin on the front stoop
yellow leaves litter the street
and I think my cat's flown the coup

there's purpose in the wind today
with each leaf a word is wispered
i close my eyes to hear them say:
prepare yourself for winter

but she'll come back, they always do...

I wonder what's the Big One thinkin
I wonder if he's worried at all
I wonder what's the Big One thinkin
I wonder if she returns his calls
what I wouldn't give to hear that ringing bell...

I'm sorry 'bout last night
I was just thinkin of myself
when you weren't there in the morning
were you with someone else?

but she'll come back, they always do...

I wonder what's the Big One thinkin
I wonder if he's worried at all
I wonder what's the Big One thinkin
I wonder if she returns his calls
what I wouldn't give to hear that ringing bell...

soakin up the last heat
sittin on the front stoop
yellow leaves litter the street
and I think my cat's flown the coup

there's purpose in the wind today
with each leaf a word is wispered
i close my eyes to hear them say:
prepare yourself for winter

but she'll come back, they always do...

*can you guess what/who this song is about?

this little lament...

I still feel your eyes on me

and I have goosebumps like you're really here
it's like you pressed your hand to the back of my neck
and its imprint is still there
- still warm and a little discolored...
kinda like my love for Him
- still warm but a little discolored.

I haven't been the same since
I saw you cross the street
my poles have switched and I'm attracting bits of you
and I wonder whether the sum of those bits will perhaps
amount to you
or whether they'll just start collecting dust
on the cramped top shelf of my heart
out of reach and
never amounting to anything more
than what this is now:
a warm discolored passed possibility
still fresh on my neck
still present in my mind
and very still in my heart.

I guess I can't expect to always get what I want...
so I'll happily take the bits.

Trippin'

a lil' song for y'all... I wrote it. my first EVER! my muse is a smokin' lady who plays base strings and from time to time I'm sure, mind strings... but you'll never know how it'll sound unless you let her play, right?

enjoy.

I'm trippin' out about you
I'm trippin' out about you
I'm trippin' out about you
and I don't know what I'm gonna do

I think about you all the time
I think about you, but you're not mine
but I still think about you all the time
and I cannot pry you from my mind

I'm trippin' out about you
I'm trippin' out about you
I'm trippin' out about you
and I don't know what I'm gonna do

you're in my dreams babe, my sweet sweet dreams
yeah, you're in my dreams babe, my bad bad dreams
don't wanna wake up from my dreams
cuz they're better than real life... or so it seems

I'm trippin' out about you
I'm trippin' out about you
I'm trippin' out about you
and I don't know what I'm gonna do
no, I don't know what I'm gonna do
I just don't know what I'm gonna do...

shame on me
shame on me
shame on me
mmmmmmm...