i come from the land down under!

it's been a while since I've taken the time to write in this thing, this online cyberspace I've claimed as my own for as long as I feel like keeping it. weird. but I'll take it.

so, there have been some interesting developments these past few months... especially the last few weeks.



I have bitten the bullet and bought myself a one-way plane ticket to melbourne, australia! see that? the south-eastern tip of the gorgeous country?? that's crazy exciting boys and girls!!! I am outta here in just over a month! january 15th to be exact! leaving you all to your deepfreeze climates and runny noses and waking up extra early just to start your vehicles and scrape the ice from the windows! off to hot hot hot climates! gorgeous beaches! wondrous waters! sexy accents! and good good times! yes indeedy... but my reasons for going there are more than just these superficial ones I've noted here. I actually have some pretty important work to do there! let me explain.

remember FCF? of course you do! haha well, it has undergone a sort of "reorg" wrt what it wants to accomplish and how it will go about accomplishing. having said that, FCF has decided to fundraise. there is a myoozik festival planned for March 18, 2007 where all proceeds will go to the ACCEPT Foundation - another charity based out of australia. ACCEPT plans to build and run an orphanage in the "beach" town of Cambodia, Sihanoukville. this orphanage will be home and refuge to approximately 60 children, both disabled and those living with HIV/AIDS. the proceeds will do such good!! I am so excited to be a part of this...

oh yes, by the way... I am going to be a part of this! anything I can do to help plan and organize this thing is just fine by me! so I'll be staying in OZ until just after the Good Seed Festival. I am so stoked about that!!! getting to know a part of the world so well, not being the average tourist, to be a part of such an amazing endeavor!!! it'll look good on my CV too! haha I just told my bosses here at my current minimum f-en wage job of my upcoming departure. a month's notice! pretty nice of me... it's gotta be done though! I am so much more than a café server... and while I'm in one place for so long, I'm for sure going to look for a job that would be willing to pay cash since I don't wanna waste a one-time-only visa on a 2 month visit. so I will definitely keep y'all posted on my trials and tribulations in this new adventure upon which I am for sure keen to embark!

AUSTRALIA! FUCK YA!!!! heehee :)

stay tuned, boys and girls and and everyone in between and beyond!!!

2.50 for an eyeball, and a buck and a half for an ear

COMING SOON!!!

a post a post a post!! yes indeed folks! working on it, but the final draft isn't quite up to par as of yet... still needs to be firstly, FINISHED, and then tweaked. heehee so be patient!! we are nearing the time when I will be posting more frequently... the time is close at hand!!!

xxx

love yous!

thought crime ink.

so uhm... I dunno if I've mentioned in a previous post, but I once posed for some merch photos for an anarchist website www.thoughtcrimeink.com/new/ and I just checked it out and a photo of your's truly was added! haha it's so strange to see myself on this website, but at least it's a hot photo! n'est-ce pas?

the other photos I posed in were for the shirts: corporate media and class war... but I'm not in the latter group and I can't open the former group so I have no idea whether they went with me on that one at all... but the website's pretty cool! check it out! I hyperlinked it for all you lazy asses out there! heehee

in the city that rhymes with FUN!

oh my lawd! what a birthday weekend I have had... and you know, they keep getting better and better! who ever said getting old sucks wasn't really living life to it's beautiful potencial. so ya, at 7:22pm on august 12th, this lady successfully completed her 26th revolution around our glorious sun.

(uh oh, just thought of a side bar... I guess the earth has increased it's momentum er something since the tsunami and surely since it was spun into motion... so I guess the possibility is more reality that I actually completed the revolution earlier than 7:22pm... but unfortunately, I don't have access nor am I privy to the kind of technology required to calculate the exact time at which the complete revolution occured. désolé!)

so uhm... where was I? oh yes. my birthday. I spent it in Regina, SK. volunteering at what turned out to be a fucken KICK ASS folk festival!!! here, let me tell you a bit about it... ~motioning a come-hither with my right index finger~

(prepare yourselves for a pretty long read... but what else did you expect, really? Enjoy.)

wednesday, august 9th
took a plane to the Land of the Living Skies with one of my loves, kirsten rasmussen, who is originally from the area and was going home to attend a family member's hitching ceremony. so, I spent the afternoon and most of the evening visiting with her family. it was really nice to put names to faces and her Farmor (fa-moo-ah, means: father's mother, aka: her grandma) ROCKS! haha kirsten's family is really great and I enjoyed getting to know where this lovely lady came from.
thank-you for taking me in kirsten. I love you more now cuz I know you more now. *muah*

thursday, august 10th
so I stayed at the hostel for my entire time in regina. it's called the Turgeon House. apparently it's an important piece of Regina's history, although I will be honest, I have no idea what it represents to the city cuz I didn't think to ask.

I woke up kind of late, mosied on down to this sweet vegetarian/vegan café where I had a deliciously healthy 1st meal of the day, read my book and wrote in my journal. from there, I walked to victoria park and checked in with Tracy, the woman with whom I had been in contact for volunteering. I worked 5 hours doing set-up, met a couple young women - SO adorable!! - and met some other interesting and wonderful individuals. I was fed too! a yummy dinner at this place called the Free House.

went for drinks with kirsten and her american cousins that night. called it an early-ish night since I had to be at the site for 8am the following morning.

friday, august 11th
also, day 1 of my moon time. I was a little pissed.

had an organic, fair-trade vanilla soy latté on my way to the park. I don't know how I did it, but I ended up getting a walkie-talkie! haha just like the big-wig co-ordinators. I helped put up all the soundboard tents, helped organize the artist hospitality tent, moved shit, laid out flooring for the side stages, put up tarps along the fencing, put up the fencing, unloaded table after table after table, unloaded chairs, moved more shit from here to there...

I had the awesome oppertunity to talk with Utah Philippes! - the one dude whom I was most excited to see. I went up to him and he sais (in a low-ish yet pleasant old guy voice) ''well hello there! I'm Utah...'' and I sais ''well I'm Jacquie! how's it goin?'' and from there we talked politics and it was such a trip to hear his stories! what a beautiful person... the things he's doin down in nevada are just brilliant and he's 71 years old!! an old anarchist-activist, still livin the ways as best he can... and he does it well let me tell you!

caught Ani DiFranco's sound check!! I was putting up the mini-fencing in front of the stage while she was right there in front of me checkin her shit... back stage - a place I came to know quite well over the course of the weekend - I was waiting for a shipment, hanging out just feet away from the RV she requested (what a primadonna eh??). I totally could have gone up and said something to her, but I decided against it for a few reasons... the main one being the fact that not only was I walkin around the place sportin my naked righteous babe on my leg, I was also wearing my ani FUCKING difranco t-shirt cuz it had got chilly after the rain... I felt like a god damn stalker!!! there was no way I was gonna meet her under those circumstances! I mean she obviously saw the support and I just wanted to leave it at that, thought she'd appreciate that since I know she hates the fans that come running up to her. besides which, during her sound check she was like ''hello hello hello...'' into the mic and so I answered back ''hi hi hi'' and she looked at me and we shared a laugh. it was cute. AND, I spoke to Todd Sicafous (the upright bassist) instead... haha

ended up working til 6pm, went back to the turgeoun, showered, walked back to the grounds to catch the shows leading up to ani's... some awesome talent!! Lazerblade! Bedouin Soundclash! Lal! it was an awesome line-up. I'm serious... check out the hyperlinks dudes!! ani was great, as usual. at one point before she played a super new song about happiness, I screamed out ''congratulations!'' and she totally heard me and smiled. it's been 2 weeks since I last saw her in calgary and edmonton and she is TOTALLY showing!! it's so strange to see a usually scrawny ani with a swollen midriff and gigantic boobs!!! she's definitly one of those women who glow during their pregnancies. she was beautiful.

went home to bed. early night. no volunteer party, that's why...

saturday, august 12th

*** my 26th Birthday! ***

woke up with swollen eyes, a slight rash around my nose, bloated, crampy, felt like I hadn't slept at all, my hair sucked, my voice was raspy... and I declined drinking the night before!! had I known I was gonna wake up feeling like shit regardless, perhaps I would have opted to go out! worst moon time ever!!!

caught some shows and workshops here and there, which helped my mood cuz they were fucking great! my boys Les Cireux d'Semelles - a traditional french folk band consisting of 4 dudes, 2 of which attended Collège Mathieu, 1 of which I actually knew, Justin Bell - were playing the kid's stage and so I checked them out... caught a couple Utah workshops...

was approached by Tracy to see if I'd like to work security that evening. I said ya cuz I wasn't in a particularily happy mood and I wasn't that excited about the main stage finale Steve Earle. I ended up getting to work back stage though! haha I said ''dudes, it's my birthday...'' it's amazing where that phrase will take you! so I was able to talk with many of the artists and not to mention I had an unobstructed view of the performances.

steve earle wasn't as good as everyone cracked him up to be. he was I guess especially preachy this night. but Niyaz was absolutely phenomenal boys and girls... absolutely phe-no-me-nal! oh and lest I forget T.O.F.U. (tons of fun university)!!! you will never hear beat-boxin like this, never words set to beats like this, never vocal choreography like this... seriously. as my love miller would say: JIZZZZZZZ!

this night, there was a volunteer party and boy did I party... I was in such a bitchy mood too, but I refused to let it get the better of me cuz it was my friggen BIRTHDAY and though I started off the day on the wrong foot, I wasn't gonna end it that way. so I went by myself, bought a beer, checked out the slide show of photos taken of the festival already, then dansed my ass off! haha met up with this dude who calls himself Shaun O'somethin - we met at the hostel cuz he works there - and so I met some of his posse, but I talked to all kinds of people... a social butterfly of sorts. I ended up finding an after-after-party and had a sweet time playing bongos and singing all night til the sun came up... just howlin up at the sky in this room of many windows, over a mall, in the middle of the city. I stumbled home through the festival grounds back to my single bunk bed and managed to catch a few hours of sommeil. this was at 6am. what a birthday party.

sunday, august 13th
my love kirsten came to see me in my hostel room with a birthday card she herself made... I was supposed to have gone for breakfast with her and her family, but understandably, I did not wake up with my alarm. she was very sympathetic and so so sweet for coming by anyhow to wish me birthday wishes. this was 10 something in the morning... almost 11am.

I decided to wake up and start my day since I knew the line up on the side stages at the festival weren't ones I should miss. so reluctantly and very slowly and lazily, I swung my legs out of comfy bed.

I dansed my hang-over away!! I dansed so much and caught so many INCREDIBLE performances and workshops by the likes of Utah, Niyaz, Lal, Lazerblade, les Cireux, Nadia Gaudet... Alex Puentes of Alex Cuba Band: WOW WOW WOW!!! what a voice, style, attitude this dude has... and the bassist travelling with him, David, is sofa king adorable and talented!! I told him so and that I had recently bought a bass... he offered me to play his! I declined cuz I got really friggen nervous, but how nice eh?! (I bought his disc, ask me and I will burn it for you and you will love it. no word of a lie. trust in me and my taste in myoozik.) anyhow, the photographer dude approached me at one point and sais ''you know, there should be an award for me cuz I'm representin!! you are at every show! it's awesome!'' so... if you check out the regina folk fest site and there's pics of this year's festival... I wouldn't be surprised if you could find me in 90% of them! haha that's sweet! I'll keep you posted on that.

and fucken FEIST performed in and hosted the last workshop of the festival on top of being the headliner that evening!! it was awesome! she KICKED BUTT! and everyone playing together for the first time sounded so natural and rockin... ~sigh~ I love myoozik so much...

I ended up working security again this night, but this night was worth it cuz I got to work security between the audience and the stage!!! I got to catch Feist up close and personal! haha (and I spoke with her a bit after her performance... I told her I hated asking for autographs, she was like ''no no no! don't be! I'm flattered to sign on the same page as Utah!'') ...and before that I was backstage security and caught Utah from back there - who by the way put on an amazing show... just an old guy on a big stage singing old songs and telling old stories as well as new ones... for 71, he sure it active in his community!!! it was beautiful to experience. the croud just adored him and he them. - and Alpha Yaya Diallo was spectacular and shit! they got the croud goin!! especially the woman... you will never see dansing like this woman can danse.

a part from all the big names there, the local talent amazed me... truly. I am lookin out for a lot of those groups... especially Kyrie of Kyrie-K Groove and Rah Rah!! what a talented young woman - only 17, fresh out of highschool. ya. it was awesome. she got the awesome oppertunity to play a bit of the finale with Feist and the other artists, what an inspirational experience for her!!

the after-party was wicked again, but fucken Feist and her band came to it too! how fucken cool? many of the artists had come to the party the night before, but this night everyone was leaving the next morning and so they didn't attend. Lal came and so did Deep Dark Woods; they each performed that night and again, I dansed my little ass off. my calves are still tight. I had a blast and I said my good-byes and my nice-to-meet-yous and my hopefully-I'll-see-you-agains... and again, I attended the after-after-party and sang and bongoed til dawn... again, stumbled home through the festival grounds... again had to wake early since I had a plane to catch. only this time, I realized I was much more loaded than I was the previous night...

monday, august 14th
I was still loaded for at least an hour after I woke up... it was slow going for sure. Shaun O'somethin made me and this super cool woman whose room I was sharing, Zoey, pancakes! and Tracy sent a driver to take me to the airport! how thoughtful! we talked at the party, but I honestly didn't think she'd have remembered... I was so flattered. I LOVE folks from Regina!!! haha and at the airport? Feist and her posse. they all looked shit. haha but so did I. it was just funny cuz I had partied with them and no one in the airport would have guessed they were a pretty well-known group... fuck they were in rough shape and I felt their pain...

so there you have it folks. a day-by-day account of my birthday weekend in Regina, Saskatchewan. whether any of you made it to the bottom of this blog entry is a question I'm asking myself as I finish writing it, looking back on its breadth... sorry dudes! I'm long winded and I feel like I am actually telling you this story in person and so I have to include as many details as I can, otherwise it wouldn't be as interesting, now would it? so kudoes for those of you who made it through.

now I ask you: was it worth it?

sushi anyone?

*** EXTRA EXTRA!! new photos posted in my yahoo photo album!! check them out here or go to the right side margin of this blog page and click on "my photo album". ***


wow... it's been a while!! so sorry for the lack of entries, but I have been one busy woman! it's incredible how much one can pack into a day. I understand now when people say "there aren't enough hours in a day".

so I have a lot on my plate and everything's lookin tasty! where should I start?

well...

LOVE LIFE
I'm single. I've made many new friends and I've been reconnecting with pre-existing friends. it is so much easier to stay in touch with folks when there's no "significant other" in my life. I never realized how much time I didn't spend with those whom I love because of that one person who is supposed to be the be-all end-all of all... not that I'm saying anything bad about that particular significant other - I would never insinuate that it's his fault, I made my own choices - but I'm feeling like that whole phenomenon of ditching one's friend's for one's lover is so socially constructed and expected of us. like we can only have intimate relationships with one person at a time - and that relationship is most often between an anatomical male and an anatomical female. why? where is that written? it's not. it's just "the way things are". does that make it the right way? because it's always been? definitly not. and so I've been swimmin up river, it's quite the task! but it's so easy now and I feel like I could never go back to going with the flow. I sometimes wonder whether that means I'll never fall in love again, whether I'll never "settle down" with someone (not in the traditional sense of course, more in the sense of sharing my life with another individual). I just love spending time with the loves of my life and my loves are so many! I am getting to know my loves as an indivudual, seperate from anyone. they are getting to know me in the same way. it's so beautiful and I've never experienced this kind of interaction before. it's like I'm still travelling, yet in my own city. so whether I'll find someone with whom to share my life is irrelavent I guess... it is as it is and right now it is wonderful. I am doing many great things with my life and I am lucky to be surrounded with so many people who love and support me. that is what it is important to me right now. sharing my life with ALL my loves, not just one.

(but I will say this to my greatest love: "you are still the song I sing to myself when I'm alone..." I'll love you always.)

TRAVELLING WITHIN MY OWN COUNTRY
I have been loving this year!! I have had the oppertunity to travel to places such as: Montreal, Toronto, Vancouver, Vernon, Kelowna, Ottawa, Calgary, Slave Lake - North Country Fair, Athabasca - Long Lake, and most recently Jasper! and that's other than my worldly destinations!

I was just in Jasper this passed weekend, camping with an old college mathieu student, Ginette. my goddess it was gorgeous!! see pics here.

North Country Fair was an unforgettable experience... from an Oiler's/Pride parade our group organized (actually, kudoes to Kevin for that one!) where we stampeded through RV land and beyond, bagpipes, bongos, and a congregation of about 30-50 er so! to the amazing performances from folks all across north America (GO Fabulous Bee Feeders!!! playing july 21-22 at The Back Draught Pub!)... to just the awesome folks I met there. Unforgettable, that's what it was... ;-)

I'll be vollunteering at the Regina Folk Festival which is August 11, 12, and 13th. GREAT line up! including the likes of Ani FUCKING DiFranco, Utah Philippes, Feist, etc. I can't wait for that! I decided to do something comepletely different for my birthday this year and this is gonna be perfect. I can't wait to write about it! back stage access dudes!! wow...

from Regina, I'll be flying to Montreal to spend a few weeks with my family, just north of the city in St. Hyppolite... right on a lake, in the "mountains", warm august weather... nice!

and without further adue...

come one! come all!!!

FUTURE CAMBODIA FUND
an Awareness Night, July 27, '06
6pm until midnight



this is the event carly and I have been planning for months now and the ball is rolling at such a lovely speed! it's been quite an interesting ride planning this and setting it into motion. but once we did, it just started goin on its own, gaining its own momentum and we have just been going with it and what we're learning has just been such a trip!

the event has been the main priority, thoug we are still motivated to create FCF Canada. that's a bit of a longer process though, we are discovering. a lot of paperwork, a lot of legal mumbo jumbo and jargon. so we figured we should concentrate on:

1. raising awareness; connecting those who want to volunteer abroad with not only our NGO, but with safe, legit NGOs in Cambodia;

2. describing our major and minor projects to hopefuly spread our feelers out even further cuz you never know who that person is, who that person might know, and so on;

3.to give information on the country itself, we've created a time line - a brief history lesson - of the events leading up to this country's present state of poverty, remorse, and corruption... as well as its beautiful and rich culture (the sour as well as the sweet);

4. and to just meet folks and have the oppertunity to talk about what we have been so passionate about since having experienced so much in that wonderful country.

so... we have organized for Kiry - the President of the Cambodian Society here in Edmonton - to come out and answer anyquestions folks might have... we figured it would exactly be a Cambodia Awareness night if there were no Khmers present! there will be a photo auction; selected photos by a co-worker of mine, Maylene, who's father would spend 6 months of each year for 10 years or so in Cambodia. Maylene will have 5-7 blown up and framed, a brief description, costs she incured to do it, and if anyone would like to buy one, they can barderfor a fair and reasonable price... just like how it's done in many countries of the world. a photo stream of the pics we ourselves took while in Cambodia - both of the people and of the conditions - as well as some professional copywritten photos provided by FCF. a ticket raffle for 3 Ani DiFranco concert tickets for the following evening at the Windspear Center - for those who sign up to become members or make donations of any kind. and we have some live myoozik provided by a certain rock star (in my books) named Kathy O'Neill. she's toured on her own, with a group called The Revulvas (mainly in Vancouver area), as well as with Bif Naked across Canada a few years ago. so we're pretty excited about all this!! I'm also being interviewed on Edmonton AM the morning of the event! connections are a wonderful thing. you just gotta put it out there and see what happens!

other exciting news??

I have succeeded in arranging for a table set up in the lobby of the Windsear Center - next to the Righteous Babe merch tables - to promote Future Cambodia Fund!! yup! that was cool to do. I just called up RBR, told a woman name what we are all about, she seemed really gung ho about it and said she'd get back to me since she couldn't give the final say since the concert's being put on by Edmonton Folk Fest. I ended up calling the lovely folks at the folk fest and spoke with an awesome dude named Eugene who just happens to be native of a country in Malaysia - Borneo - and so he was super interested in FCF. the director of the folk fest called me the next day with the OK!! So, I was given some names and phone numbers about ensuring a table for when I get there and any other details specific to the Windspear requirements. turns out, I have to enter through the back entrance which just so happens to be the ARTIST'S entrance! haha I just dreamed this was going to happen this passed Sunday night... crazy. so who knows? but ya, I'm pretty stoked about that.

So I'll be keeping y'all posted on what happens after the events I've described above! wish me luck! show up and support! show your love!!! it would mean so much...

until then,

PEACE in the SOUTH EAST!

I sing sometimes like my life is at stake cuz yer only as loud as the noises you make

it's been just about a week since the conference and I'm still digesting everything I injested over the course of that weekend. what a trip that was! to be amongst so many amazing women!

after the first full day, I found myself almost in a daze of sorts, mulling over the language I hadn't used in over a year and remembering how to use it and how to how to hear it. I felt almost taken aback and ashamed that I was not so into the whole activist scene... cuz I had decided to go off to see the world instead... then of course, I snapped right out of feeling bad about that one! haha I was able to use my experiences abroad - namely those from Cambodia - to explain certain issues, to demonstrate how we can talk talk talk about what needs to be done here and what needs to be done there... but until you're actually at the and in the "there" of which you speak... you realize that talk is cheap. ask the locals what they want. communicate with those whom you want to help. we live in a global community, but that doesn't entail nor does it give anyone the right to go somewhere and decide what's got to be done. back to basics. and so that knowledge proved to be invaluable considering many of the women present at the conference hadn't done a whole lot of travelling and had been engrossed with studies more than with experiential knowledge of the world which they purport to have all the answers for. and I think they were really able to identify with me since I hadn't had that knowledge either before I left... it was a really awesome moment for so many reasons.

the conference organized a variety of paper panels, audio-visual student projects, as well as workshops...

there was a sort of presentation more than a work-shop type thing that was really interesting: women hurting women - violence within lesbian relationships. you know, I hadn't even thought about an issue such as that one... that it even was an issue at all. I wish I had my notes here and then I would be able to list off some pretty unknown facts, but alas, I left them at home. but one that really struck me and so stuck into memory was this: a distinct difference between violence in heterosexual and lesbian relationships is that switching between abuser and victim from relationship to relationship occurs for the only latter type. this switching of roles occurs out of guilt or vengeance, depending on whether one was the abuser or victim in one's last relationship. this just doesn't typically happen within heterosexual relationships since the man is usually the abuser and the woman usually the victim, or, survivor as they prefer to say... ***this term isn't used concerning lesbians... she certainly does not feel like anything close to a "survivor" since the medical practitioners and councilors do not recognise that abuse among lesbians exists... women are not supposed to be violent, therefor how could she have truly been abused? not to mention many within the medical field aren't as familiar with or keen to the knowledge of lesbianism and homosexuality and so she is reluctant to admit that she is part of this still-deviant "lifestyle"*** well... I could go on and on here... but I won't. it was just SO friggen interesting and eye-opening. if you wanna know more about this or anything else wrt the conference, just tell me in your comments and I'll send along everything that I can.

the language began to flood in and before I knew it, I was emersed. I forgot how passionate I am for not just women's issues, but PEOPLE's issues. stuff that inevitably concerns each and every one of us. I learned so much and I renewed my desire to work in this area of raising awareness, activism, sharing and emparting of knowledge to create tangible change. there was a speaker from FAFIA (canadian feminist alliance for international action... click the hyperlink!) - government! - and I got this feeling inside that that would be the direction I'd take upon my return from my next travelling stint. to infinity and beyond! haha only time will tell... and I look forward to discovering what the future me ends up doing!

one more thing though, the workshop in particular that I especially loved was of spoken word poetry. learned a few tricks of the trade and I've started applying what I've learned in my own pieces... started writing something too... perhaps I'll include it on a blog near YOU! I love the creativity this conference has induced in me! all this reference to water, flowing, emersion, flooding... kinda have to go pee! :-)

yipee!

so I'm on my way to Kaslo, BC... home of the fabulouso May Days! I can't wait! happy reading! hopeful thinking! sorry I'm ending this so abruptly... but like I said, I have to pee!!!!

xxx

ps. Mike Jacobson sais: hey! what are you still doing on the computer? you crazy cat! what? you're writing a blog? can you mention my name in it? cool. thanks! meow!

Mike Jacobson

Mike Jacobson

Mike Jacobson

"feminism ain't about equality... it's about reprieve" - ani difranco

FEMINISM(S) IN THE 3rd WAVE - conference day 1

So I'm attending my first conference ever and that up there is its the interesting title. I haven't been among so many strong and influential women since having completed my final semester of my bachelor of arts degree way back in December of 2004. It's awesome. I forgot how energizing and motivating it is to discuss real issues - ever important issues - concerning women's rights in not only this western country, but those of other countries on whole other continents and hemispheres where so many women are fighting and making wonderful advancements for the women of their countries, their sisters. I said I've forgotten, but that's not the right word... I've been occupied with things that have been and still are important to me, ie. travelling the globe, things that I will approach quite differently the next time around. I think this conference will refresh my memory of the language and of the importance of a global community.

Some comments were made tonight and they really stuck with me...

Within feminism, there are so many complexities and differences between us as far as what issue is at the forefront in each of our minds, we bring such diversity to the table of what to fight for. Many times it becomes an argument between two sides who feel so strongly from the position they are speaking from and nothing can come out of such disagreements since neither side is willing to compromise. One woman from a college in Saskatoon mentioned that when debating the pro-choice vs. pro-life issue on their campus, it was fight fight fight the whole time... but they remained and discussed onward, got beyond the beaurocracies of it all and shared their personal feelings and stories with one another, opening up such profound discussion which in turn lead them to compromise and understanding one another's perspective in such a way that had never really been experienced before. A positive outcome for all envolved because they transcended the usual rallying around either side of the dichotomy that is inherently doomed to perpetual head-butting.

However, in saying that, it is still so necessary to speak from "woman", generally speaking... though one is not necessarily required to speak as a woman. Another put forth the idea that to rally under the one all-emcompassing WOMAN could work to reinforce the man-woman binary (ie. the idea that the former has power over the latter, that one is above the other) and so we should keep in mind that not everyone identifies as "woman" in the sense that is commonly believed...

Wow. I am so inspired and on fire right now! I feel such passion and drive again and I love it!!! I will be writing about my experiences from this conference for sure... I feel like I felt while in Cambodia working with DMGF and FCF and how fulfilling it was for not only myself, but for those whose we were affecting. Splendid.

captain's log, star date 2-0-0-6.

engage.

in conversation.

words are vitamines and life is short

hello hello! some thoughts to ponder... i wonder if anyone agrees or has something to add to this stream of questions? check it out...

my time in vernon was beautiful for so many reasons... did a lot of thinking on the plane and at the airports. thoughts i don't think i ever acknowledged or was even conscience of possessing. my grandma. my mom. me. thoughts like, is this what ageing is like? you sit around and talk about the weather, traditions and memories, and of how this person is good to you because they gave you money, and that person's a sweetheart cuz they do this or that for you... i tried to see if she'd go deeper with her thoughts you know? but then that made me realize that these people grew up during completely different times and circumstances than those of my own generation... so how could i possibly expect someone of her age to follow my thought processes? that is not to say there aren't 80 year olds who might be able to engage in this kind of conversation and probing for meaning... OR is the quickness of mind and ability to create new memories and use those brain cells to dig deep as you did in your youth, is this just something that time strips away from you? is it possible to work out your brain by keeping it occupied with constant and consistent stimulation so that when/if you do reach old age, you're still quite sharp? will our generation - the folks that have secondary and post-secondary education - prove to be completely unlike those of the current senior population?

and... how can someone say: "money is the root of all evil" and "if i win the lottery, i'll do _____ and _____", in one breath? why does it boil down to money always???? am i strange to have something else at the top of my priority list? and should i judge someone for my perceived difference in priorities?

i mean, i love my nana to peices, but it's just that this visit provoked some pretty intense pondering!!! i thought i'd share it with whomever still reads me on here... hopefully it doesn't offend anyone. that wasn't my intention. but like i said, tell me what you think! i don't care how long the reply is... i'm so interested... kind of like gathering data for a sociological study/experiement of mine. gotta use my degree for something, right? heehee

get shorty!

well... for those of you who haven't seen... this is me with SHORT hair. first time in my life since I was a youngin! I'm finally used to it and I kinda like it! might bleach out come May though... just for shits and giggles! anyhoot, there you go. I think I'm gonna rock the short for a while... we'll see. :-)

"I Know I'm Not Alone"

so tonight I'm going to experience some intense shit... well... not shit of course, but I use that word to describe a lot of different things, and this shit is definitly not of the kind that comes out of your arse!

but anyways, back to the subject...

I'm going to see a brilliant artist/activist/humanitarian who goes by the name Michael Franti. During his time in the middle east, he shot a film that speaks volumes about what exactly is going on over there... more than what you get through our media filters. I am really looking forward to experiencing this. He has such an amazing presence... Apparently his voice-overs are quite personal, along with the music accompanyment. It's going to be a sadly beautiful piece, I know it. He'll be performing solo (ie. without Spearhead) and acoustically afterwards... wow. I'm so stoked about this. The film is called I Know I'm Not Alone and he'll be at the Myer Horowitz Theatre at the Univeristy of Alberta. Check out the hyper links if you wanna know more about him and his film. I'm sure I'll be writing about this experience soon...

and i'm not in the best shape that i've ever been in, but i know where i'm going and it ain't where i've been...

so a few things have happened since my last post... which was a long time ago indeed! shall I start from the beginning? well, alright then! if you insist...

1. I got a job! yay! at *Remedy Café on 109 St. and just south of Saskatchewan Dr. I absolutely love everything about it and I think I fit in quite nicely! we serve yummy indian cuisine, as well as delicious coffee... and we're liscenced! it's crazy! this place is open til like 2am even on sundays! my shifts consist of pretty much just days, from noon til 6pm, and sometimes from 11 til 7, and I just might be starting full time next week which means that I won't have to look for a second job! the pay is minimum, but the tips are quite decent, more so than they were at Zuppa. I was supposed to work this past monday, but...
2. I came down with a throat infection of some kind!!! I woke up sunday morning feeling achy from the tip of my head to the tip of my toes then went and worked an 8 hour shift (which was really quite fun actually! I'm really getting the hang of everything and getting over the fact that I haven't worked in SO LONG!). that night though, hanging out with alana and shane and scotty, I became feverish... it wasn't a good night at all... I awoke the next morning with a terrible sore throat and it hasn't let up since. Zee sent me home within 5 mins of me arriving to work on monday! but I bought some Oil of Oregano and so hopefully it's offensive yet pert near magical qualities can remedy my poor throat soon... my jaw grows tired of clenching so tightly when swallowing...
3. before all this, my lovely soul sista Sahana flew me to ottawa to visit her and her lovely partner Davina! it was such a beautiful visit... I really got to know davina on a more personal level and am greatful for it. I can see what sahana saw in her and I completely approve! not that she needed my approval in the first place, of course! ;-) spending time with those women though really did a lot for my soul, my well-being... like a breath of fresh air on a crisp spring morning. thank-you both for an awesome week in our nation's capital! *muah*
4. but before even that, I CHOPPED OFF MY BEAUTIFUL DREADS!!!!! the cut I chose wasn't really any of the ones I had posted here for y'all to check out, more like a combo of a few of them... because I couldn't cut off each dread as evenly as I had hoped, the cut is a work in progress. at first, I couldn't even look at myself in a mirror! I felt so alienated from myself! I mean, it may sound silly, but I had a sort of identity crisis since I have NEVER known myself with short hair (childhood bowl cuts not included). while in ottawa, we went out to this bar and I was talking to the bartender and though I could see her lips were definitly moving, I couldn't hear a word she said cuz I was so preoccupied with thoughts of "holy crap! does she know I used to have long thick dreads? I wonder if I look better from this angle rather than that one? does this cut even suit me? do I look like that b-girl that just walked up to the bar? holy crap! all the girls in here have pretty much the same do! I look like everybody else now! can I handle this? is this me?...". ya. it wasn't pretty. but I'm for sure much more comfortable with it now and I promise that once I let someone take a picture of me, I will post it on here for all to see... perhaps from this saturday's party! party pictures are always fun! I'm debating on whether or not I should bleach it out... short hair's so great because I can do this shit and not worry too much about ruining it! we shall see...
5. and last but most certainly not least, I got 15 tickets to Ani DiFranco's gig at the Winspear Center on July 28/06! yay! not the front row center seats I really wanted, but really good seats considering they went on sale without any anouncement at all! shit... we (carly put them all on her credit card) bought out 2 entire rows and 3 seats of another row... and we pretty much have all the tickets accounted for too! I'm so friggen excited, and I can't hide it! I'm about to lose controle and I think I like it!

   *you know, with respect to no.1, I'd like to add that they don't have any sort of recycling initiative or plan in place and it really really bothers me. I'm trying to figure out ways that this place could improve and do its part in preserving the environment, but I feel as though I have no place as of yet to voice my concern considering I've only worked 3 shifts. I mean, with the amount of food waste - from the customers as well as the outdated foods - is incredible and would make a pretty healthy compost, but there isn't a whole lot of room for a compost. and the amount of 4l plastic milk containers we go through in just one day, there isn't even a reclycling box! and there's a recycling bin right outside for this very thing! the only stuff that does get disposed of properly are the cans and bottles which Zee takes weekly to the depot. I wonder if I should even bother asking about the recycling stuff or just go ahead and start a few things on my own... we shall see...

well, that's about all the new shit that's been happening... well, as far as what I dare share on here... there is of course a ton of shit going on in my head, but those thoughts are for the ol' fashioned journal - which hasn't been written in for quite a while now as well. I think the next time I write on here, something incredible would have had to happen, otherwise my life is pretty boring and not really worth writing about on here. just wait til I'm out and about again on this here globe! soon... soon... I just keep telling myself that.

glin glo swing

Well, I guess I won't be updating this blog so much now that I'm not really doing anything... I don't even have a job yet!! I hit the pavement yesturday and dropped a résumé off at 6 establishments though! Remedy Café, Highlevel Diner, Mosaics Café, The King & I - Thai Cuisine, DaDeO's, and the International Hostel just off Whyte. I guess now I play the waiting game and I really hate that cuz in the mean time, I'm not making any moula and it is MUCH harder to live for cheap in North America than it was in Cambodia or Thailand even... Luckily I have really sweet friends who have taken me in for however long I need: let's give a warm hello to the lovely Alana and her partner in crime Shane! Thank's dudes. Truly. So I've been meeting up with friends since having returned from my way-cool week in Vancouver with Kirsten. Upon my arrival into Edmonchuck, I was extatic to see a particular Simon Pacey waiting at the lovey couple's home after having been picked up from the airport - after a 3 hour delayed flight - by Alana. I was story-teller for the evening and it was a nice way to be received... I don't think I could have handled a big get-together at that point! I then spent a few days in crazy exciting (nb. sarcasm) Athabasca with Carly and realized for certain how I could never live in that town. haha Sorry Carly! In the words of a Metalica song: Sad But True. Got back last Wednesday night, left the next morning for Fort Crack with my bro... purpose: needed more clothes! How would you feel after wearing the same fucking thing for 6 months? heehee Spent a couple hours, saw my wonderful papa for about 40 mins, and then the Jermster & I hit the highway for the long drive back to the city of champions. Left the next morning for Calgary where I spent the weekend laughing my ass off with Monique and Erica (the woman who joined us in Spain). Met up with my for sure life-long friend Jami Cook for a yummy 3 hour lunch... AWESOME to see you girl!! Thank-you so much for driving all the way out for me! Met up with another old friend: Mike McQueen Jacobson for a few hours! Good times were had, my favorite part was the newly-renovated Chinook Center... not! Talking with Mike was fun though! :-) Got back again to the former home of what's his face legendary hockey player this past Sunday evening and I've been here ever since. How exciting eh? heehee

Though I'm not doing humanitarian work here, being back isn't so bad. I still don't feel I'm really living since the only place I felt that was in Cambodia... making positive change, being a part of that change, looking down on those beautiful little smiles... but I don't think I'll be heading down that crazy road any time soon. I'm too motivated! I need my precious marbles! Seeing my friends and family again is really good for my heart; I appreciate you more, I love you more. I really wish you could pull up a chair in the kitchen of my mind (cuz kitchens always end up being where the party's at) and see/experience for yourself what I experienced in Asia... what I experienced in Europe too!! I haven't forgotten about you Land of Zippy Ztaziki, Turkey lurkey do, Amsterdam (though that was a close call!), Praha, Germany, and like Ireland will ever slip my mind... Spain... Ya. Europe was cool. Don't think I'll go again until I can really afford to. Maybe retirement? heehee No no, I'm going back to Amsterdam in 2015 for a reunion tour with Monique! heehee I'll be 35 and you'll be, what, 37? Almost 40? haha Oh Monique, I know which buttons to press and they are always so exposed! But ya, those are longterm plans: always subject to change.

Speaking of change... I need some help! I'm chopping the dreaded locks! I want to bare my soul to all of you as well as my noggen! heehee Can you help me choose?

In order from the 1st to the 7th, from left to right across the page and down. What do you think? I know #2 probably won't be possible until my hair grows out a bit, but you never know... I might be able to comb out quite a bit to make it somewhat possible. I'm kinda diggin #3, the wee faux hawk! I've always wanted a fun short do! ~sigh~ Bye bye dreads...

FREEDOM 55

I would like to take this oppertunity to wish my papa a HAPPY 55th BIRTHDAY!!! YAY!! And now, if we could all join in and sing him that old birthday tune we all know and love:

bonne fête à toi!

bonne fête à toi!

bonne fête chèr PAPA,

bonne fête à toi!

What a beautiful winter's day to celebrate so many revolutions around our glorious sun... I know you're working tonight (which sucks really bad) and I totally wish I could be there in person to pass along these wishes of happiness, love, and health. But this is my ode to YOU André Bernard Boisvert: wonderful person, best-friend, and WAY COOL papa. I love you and I truly can't wait to see you, give you a huge hug, and share with you my experiences abroad. You were there with me the whole time and will remain in my heart throughout my life and where ever I go. YOU ROCK! Have a beautiful day and I will see you soon.

love,

your daughter and friend,

Jacqueline Yvonne Boisvert

xoxoxoxox

acid reflux: a collection of introspections

You know how I always spoke of looking like a "mad woman" journalling away? Well, oftentimes I write poetry... and not in the traditional sense. I had a few sleepless nights on Koh Chang and some alone time in Phnom Penh - shortly after our initial arrival - where I wrote some stuff. In my own opinion, it's not too shabby! I've read some of it to friends and they've enjoyed it (or at least, they claimed to have enjoyed it), and so I thought why the hell don't I just post a few on here for shits and giggles? Maybe give you a little glimpse as to how my mind works when it's "exposed" (I hate that word but I can't think of any other) to certain contexts and situations... So uhm, enjoy? I guess? And, so you know, you're forewarned: they are a bit strange.

MOON TIME BLUES

I got the moon time blues

feel like buyin some new shoes

or maybe takin a snooze

maybe go for a booze cruise

I got the moon time blues

wanna find some way to amuse

instead I confuse myself

meandering about minus my muse

I got the moon time blues

I wanna substance abuse

like that's any news

my mind I might lose

cuz I got the moon time blues

a sullen girl and short is my fuse

my mood dull like a yellowing bruise

but I could throw a tantrum, terrible two's

cuz girl! I got the MOON TIME BLUES!!

*heehee This one was written in Phnom Penh when Carly went out with some friends and I just wasn't in the mood... cuz I had the moon time blues! ;-) I think I wanna turn this one into a song some day, bluesy... can you hear it??*

BOO!

out on a ledge

my mind clutching a thread

holding on tight with fear that it just might

lose its grip and slip

and there's no one there to catch me

snatch me up and hold me near

kiss my forehead and cuddle away that pesky fear

threatening to consume me

and not unlike a stalker,

it is looming

it is lurking in the shadows

dodging street lights as it follows me

to the ledge, the edge

of which I find myself hanging by that thread

fraying, swaying to and fro

between plunging into darkness

or lunging for that brightness...

-working progress

*ya... not sure what to do with this one... initiated by paranoia, this was my first sleepless night on Koh Chang and to help me catch my zzz's I did not down nyquil, no... but I tried to rhyme every thought and eventually I fell alseep. And of course, I didn't want to lose all that I had thought of so I manically wrote it down and so that's why it's not done... might turn this one into a song as well... who knows? it doesn't even have a proper title yet!*

SANITARY SANCTUARY

this place has developped into a habit of mine

maybe due to the fact that I've been here a while

not that often I'm in one place for long,

at least as long as I've been gone...

so who's it up to? who drew that line?

that point in time when my eyes saw the sign?

how long before it registered, right side up and focused,

that I could see a life just for me instead of all that saw dust?

so when a tree falls in the forrest, does anybody hear?

and if a dream met its end that way in my head,

would its fall sound clear?

but all that don't matter anymore so look past it

forget it - no... remember it cuz without it

that woman and me might never have met, shit

is much cimpler now I'm thinking for one,

don't feel like a mom overprotecting her son

but in charge of my own life:

what I'm doing and what's to come

I'm shaking hands with my past cuz at last I understand

and am OK with who I am...

minus a man...

and so this place has developped into a sort of habit of mine

not only due to the fact that I've been here a while

but cuz the quiche is delicious and the iced coffee devine

and my mind

can unwind

the coils of moments

spiraled

in

time

*very reflective... written at The Blue Pumpkin in Siem Reap: a place that is all white, very sterile looking, good tunes, air conditioning, and you can get quiche!! not rice! It's like a place you go when you want to escape Cambodia for a little while. It does the trick!

Cambodia: you can check out any time you want, but you can never leave!!!*

THE QUESTION

hey, who are you?

essentially the same, but fundamentally changed

no longer the woman you once knew

and too, you've gained new

perspectives, not what you expected

but then again you've always neglected

the beauty in the imperfected

so hey, who are you now?

up there on the bow of the boat

still afloat through the low and high tides of your mind

still resigned and inclined

to find whatever shores you set course for

but there's no need to be sure of destination

see above for explanation of the effects of expectations...

tell me, who were you then?

way back when material things mattered

and life pitter-pattered past your pasified conscience

a passer-by existence

and you can longer accept its numbing effects since

you're fundamentally the same, yet essentially changed

and so the question has no ONE answer

and will remain as such

perpetually untouchable cuz

I am a SPINSTER

uncolonized by any sign or label

never infantilized and always able

to redefine what's mine

which could only ever be:

myself

my thoughts

my mind.

*second sleepless night on Koh Chang, again, thinking in rhyme to lull myself to sleep cuz the waves sure weren't doing their share... and again looking inside myself, trying to figure out my personal changes, trying to explain them in some way. Since they were such new feelings and thoughts, they just flowed out like acid reflux flows up the throat when one has eaten too much or there is nothing left in one's stomach to reject and all that's left is the bile. Sorry for the grotesque description, but there's no other way to accurately describe how these words formed into intelligable phrases... This one kind of turned into a feminist rant towards the end too! yay! I should give this one to my fav prof: Heather Tapley, she'd love it!*

the girl is back in the bubble... can she deal?

WOW. As soon as I got in my seat on the plane from BKK to Taipei, I conked out for like an hour, woke up as the plane was taking off... it was delayed and I almost missed my connection from Taipei to Vancouver!!! But, I didn't! I had to boot it from one gate to the other though... and I had 3 seats all to my self on that 10 hour flight so, after dinner was served, I downed a sleeping pill and passed out til just before breakies was about to be served! Now that is the way to fly! It was so strange... when I could see the edge of Canada, tears assumed their position and didn't wait for the command before they started rolling down my cheeks...

Why was I crying? Because I didn't think I could handle being back among those who wouldn't know me anymore, who might not understand the changes I've undergone... I felt so alienated and felt as though I wouldn't be able to not alienate everyone in return. Leigh had warned me I might feel that way after all I'd experienced in Cambodia. She said it took her a long time before she felt she was semi-adjusted... like her friends would ask her "oh, how was asia?" and she would begin to describe the horrors and injustices and thereby totally alienating every single one of them, and feeling quite vulnerable as a result since those experiences were so close to her heart and nobody understood her... nobody could... not unless they've experienced it for themselves. So I began to understand what she was talking about.

Upon seeing Monique at the arrival's gate, I balled and held on to her so tight as though I was hanging on to my sanity. After dropping her off at work, her boyfriend Sean dropped me off on the wonderfully colorful Davie Street where I walked around, found a coffee shop, and journalled over a nice warm OVER-PRICED latté. Met her for lunch and then bussed it to Sean's place and chilled out for a bit before Monique arrived back home. We smoked a spliff, things were good, we were catching up, I went to my pack to retrieve the bracelet I had bought her on the beach and saw the bottle of vitamines and... and... the vitamines were of the ones I helped unload from that 40' trailor of donations DMGF shipped to Siem Reap... and so I saw them and I remembered that awesome feeling I had to be part of something so grand and beautiful... and then I realized where I was: in North America, land of excess and much ignorance... and I wondered what the hell I was doing here? What does my exisitence mean here? what's it for? Ya... I started thinking about how the hell I was going to be able to adjust back to the way things are here and not alienate people in the process... I balled my eyes out, nearly lost all those marbles I'd be saving up! I'm sure I freaked Monique out. I think I would have been diagnosed as clinically insane... I told her I was just "having a mental break-down and that I'd be back in a bit"... After about a 1/2 hour, I calmed myself down, "regrouped", and tried to focus on chanelling my frustrations and anxieties into something positive like: ok, so when I get back to Edmonton, I'm gonna look into funding and setting up meetings for when Leigh gets here in April and that's what's important: getting back there and doing MORE. I have to learn how to channel those feelings or else I will indeed lose my grip.

*note to self: don't smoke ganja unless I'm around someone whose experienced something similar and whom I know won't freak out (ie. get scared) should I lose it again... someone who will be able to empathize... the paranoia is too great... I think WAY to much even without it.*

So ya. We went to an Italian restaurant on Commercial St. where I had my first pasta dish in months but could not eat it all since the portion was GINORMOUS!! I'm so not used to the N. American helpings of food anymore! I even told the waitress when she placed the dish in front of me that I was intimmidated by the size and was afraid to eat it! haha Everyone had a good laugh. I ate 1/2 and was stuffed. It too was overpriced. Should have been 1/3 the price and 1/2 the size. In my oh-so-humble opinion. THEN we went for some gelatto across the street and I was again stupified by the size of the scoops! I had a "single" scoop in a cup and I could barely finish it!!! Crazy. The price and size are things I'm going to have to learn how to deal with all over again... It really does amaze me that a latté would cost me $4 when it would cost less than $1 in many places in asia.

Now I'm staying in an OK hostel in Gastown, Vancouver with my special friend Kirsten and we're catching up grandly and it's so awesome to see her!!! I'm glad I'll be spending a week here with her before jumping back into FREEZING Alberta where my posse resides... DAMN I'm not used to the cold, crisp, and dryness!!! I'm peeling like a MOFO! I won't be dark at all by the time I return cuz it'll all have flaked off... :-( Ah well. It is as it is. heehee Perspective, Jacquie.

OK so I have to go out and DO something here. Like, buy a sweater?? So I'll sign off for now and catch up in a few days. Crazy. I really hope I don't go down that road... somewhere down that crazy road...

drugs drugs drugs, which are good? which are bad?

Hello everybody!!! Jacquie here reporting from the port town of Trat, Thailand, awaiting my overnight bus ride to Bangkok... and upon arrival, I'll be heading straight for the BKK International Airport to begin the long journey back home. I was supposed to have been in Bangkok last night and getting my body art done just of Kao San Road today... but as usual, the plan came subject to change and I ended up getting the work done on Koh Chang... BUT, before I share that crazy story, I'll tell you about my last few days on the island with Leigh and her canadian friend Rhea.

So, it turned out that Leigh's sickness - brought on by the wonderful thai massage - was acute tonselitis (not sure of the spelling) and so she got some meds which made her feel 100 times better very quickly... I was a bit worried about her since she looked like Death. But ya. We took it easy, got to know each other very well and I was so sad to leave her today. What a beautiful soul she is. We rented a moto and drove off along the ocean road to the wondrous waterfall everyone recommended checking out. It was way too expensive considering the waterfall wasn't all that wondrous afterall, but gorgeous - and the water was actually COLD and so very refreshing. On our way back, we passed some elephants and so we pulled a U-ie and went to visit them! haha YAY! There were 2: a 16 year old mama and her 2 year old girl. They were huge and well-treated and very well-fed compared to the ones we visited in Ban Lang, Cambodia. They were part of a program to preserve these amazing beasts and I can't quite describe exactly how AMAZING this experience was. Leigh had never seen an elephant, let alone a baby one, let alone touched one! They were so affectinate and I was hugging and kissing the baby and hugging the mom's trunk and face, scratching behind their velvet ears, feeding them... the mom was exploring me with her curious trunk - man they look strange! - and tickling me and the baby kept hed bunting me to touch her and such. Leigh was lifted up with mama's trunk and I got a sweet picture of that... HOW COOL??? We spent about a 1/2 hour there playing with them and loving them. It brought tears to my eyes and Leigh's. Beautiful, just beautiful. I can't explain the afinity and connection I have to elephants, but I definitly felt it's strength that day. Afterwards, we motoed back to Lonely Beach and soaked up the rest of the day's sun. Leigh's friend Rhea met us that early evening and we chatted at our hut - we movedto a bigger one to allow for the 3 of us enough room, though it was still quite squishy, especially since I had passed out and spread eagled it on the bed... heehee :-) - and then indulged in a sunset/evening swim in the ocean... gorgeous. Oh man! There's this swing set up over the water right outside our hut, hanging from 2 ginormous trees, that I swung on and holy cow that was fun! and exhilerating!! Imagine swinging so high side to side, then round and round (standing up of course)! It was awesome! I felt like a surfer! heehee

So it was February 14th when Rhea arrived and there was a big Love party at the Treehouse lodge. We went. Had a couple drinks and then walked down the beach to check out the other parties, had a strong drink at each one, watched some fire dansing and fire "poy", gave out roses to the pretty ladies who had none and whom we found "deserving"... then continued our hopping and ended up back at the Treehouse Lodge. What began with 2 dudes playing some fucking AWESOME bongo beats turned into about 10 of them and didgeridoo and I was just in love and awe with the sound... the atmosphere... just BEING there, ya know? We were so friggen waster and by the time we got back to our hut, it was 4am and I was to wake up at 8:30am to for my tatoo... dun dun dunnnnnn...

THE TRADITIONAL THAI BAMBOO TATTOO

Wow. I decided if I wanted local art, the island would be the perfect place to do it. I described my idea to the artist (something to cover up my wee not-so-pink elephant with a larger mor intricate elephant) and what he came up with is absolutely breathtaking and the most beautiful piece of artwork I have ever seen. It's quite large but the detailing - the tassles, the head caps, the skin, the eyes, the shadowing, the lotus leaf - is so fine and... well... I'll just have to post a picture as soon as I can to show all those whom I won't see right away. This kind of work would never have been accomplished through the use of a regular machine. Done with bamboo, needling the design in just like they would have done pre-machine, except in the traditional thai manner. I had an audience, a few stayed with me the entire time - thanks Alex and the Kiwi named Babba (I think) - and Leigh and Rhea were there a fair bit as well, holding my hands through the excrutiating pain. It was. I took some drugs to get me through it: diazapam, codine, T3s, ibuprophen, ganja, some shots of sansung rum, and a whole lot of nicotene. It had to be done. I was there for 10 hours yesturday and then another 5-6 hours this morning and I still have to return next year to finish it off completely... though what it is now looks amazing. I can't wait to show you all!!!! It was the neatest experience - even through the pain - having it done right on the beach like that... I had to focus on something and so I focused on the beauty that surrounded me: the beach, the wonderful people who were there for the whole thing, Leigh and Rhea, the artist was a gem. ~sigh~ How wonderful. At times I had to belt out some Ani songs, some Can Con. (ie. Bryan Adams) when I wasn't swearing in french and english of course! haha I think I would have rathered give birth! NOT! haha Ya. I'm happy. The outcome is perfect and not as painful had a machine been used. You'll see what I mean soon enough!

Parting was such sweet sorrow...

Leigh will be coming to Canada some time in late April, early May and I am gonna try and set up some meetings for her with some big wigs in the building trades in Alberta to see about funding FCF. So I'll see her again soon enough... but it was still so sad to leave her cuz we grew so close and I love that woman. I plan on getting an around-the-world ticket next time and dropping in on her in Melbourn, Australia since she'll be there during the time I'm thinking about returning. That's so cool cuz I've ALWAYS wanted to go to Australia and she has some wicked friends I'm intrigued to meet, not to mention the fact that she's local and so I'll be experiencing the country from a local's perspective which is very cool. I can't wait!! I'm not even gone yet and I'm thinking about my next trip! Ain't that the way it is... And Rhea is from Vancouver and so we'll be (hopefullly) meeting up for coffee or something before I leave back for Edmonton. She's a good shit too. Really beautiful people I've met out here in the wide world. I am so in love with this life!!!

Well, I'm off for the bus ride!! Next time I write I'll be in the other hemisphere!! CRAZINESS!!! Thank-you for all your comments... throughout... I've kept them close to my heart where ever I've gone. I can't wait to see you all again and re-introduce myself... :-)

tan lines apleanty!

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extra! extra! new asia photos are posted here or just click on the photo album link to the right!! yay! There are seperate albums for the Landfill, Siem Reap, and the Khmer Empire. The ones from Thailand won't be posted until I get them developped since I have an o'schoo camera with me here...
***

So... since I am on a beach on an island in Thaiand, my days have been pretty low key and very relaxing. Leigh arrived here - on 3 hours of sleep, after a long day of travelling from Siem Reap, having gone out the night before - on Friday night, safe and sound, albeit a touch exhausted. We spent yesturday chilaxing... we went for breakies at the waterfront restaurant, made our way to the beach, played in the water, listened to some good aussie tunes and chatted about her last days in Cambodia... For an aussie, she sure turns a nice shade of bright pink from the sun AND it was overcast! haha (Sorry Leigh, had to say it!) Oh yes, what else did we have on our schedule? Well, we had lunch at the beachfront restaurant and then later went for a waterside thai massage... the BEST massage we have both ever had. And so cheap! 200 bt. = $5 usd!! For a pertnear 3 hour rub down!! Wow. We were SO GIDDY afterwards... folks thought we had just downed a "happy shake" or smoked a spliff er something! I felt like I was on extasy! (not that I know how that would feel... heehee) We were so jellowed that we just went back to the hut, laid down, stretched, and fell asleep. Unfortunately, the massage released toxins from our nodes and organs - as it is meant to do - and Leigh is quite sick today.

So that's pretty much it dudes! Sorry I don't have anything more exciting to write... it's near the end of my trip and I'm trying not to think about going home yet... trying to just be here now. Before I leave Koh Chang though, we're gonna check out the waterfalls here and go snorkelling to 4 other islands in the vicinity and so I look VERY forward to that beauty... I love snorkelling!!! In Bangkok I'm getting a tatoo... an elephant in Thai design... lower back to cover up the tiny cartoony-immature not-so-pink elephant... WAY cheaper to do here than back home, plus I really wanted the local art created by a local.

I'll write again likely from Bangkok on Wednesday or Tuesday evening some time... crazy. Thank's for reading me... I MISS YOU!!!

beach bum fun, hold the rum

Shit... it's so hot here, I can't even describe it... and the water's even warm so it doesn't do much to soothe my aching burns... sometimes I feel like an egg on a frying pan - over easy pleasey - or a coffee bean supposedly slow roasted to perfection as Foldger's might say... tell that to my back and belly who won't be resting peacefully tonight because they are the perfect shade of a beet and we all know how annoying beets are. heehee So if anyone's read Jitterbug Perfume, you'll all share a chuckle over the space time continuum, simulataneously ignorant of each other's shared experience.

I'm not doing too much these days, just relaxing... preparing myself for the return to cold Canada, to the life I left, to my friends and family whom I miss and love. Crazy feeling this is. It feels like I'm in limbo or something being out here. I think it's because it's as close to paradise as I ever could have imagined, minus the dumb tourists and the roosters of course. So that I'm here in paradise after all I've experienced these past 5 1/2 months and that home time is drawing nearer with every bead of sweat that runs from my brow down between my eyes, only to meet its certain end by suiciding itself off the upturned edge of my beet red nose... well, frankly, my mind is going a little berzerk... if you haven't already noticed.

Wow. But anyways, now that we're all up to date on how Jacquie is feeling and appearing these days, I'll let you know that I have 5 more days before I leave this paradise and hopefully - cross your toes! - I will leave having been slow roasted perfectly and tastefully. :-) And hopefully my mind won't have "baked" too long either... ~wink~

Sir Coffs-a-lot, here I come!

beach combin days...

Yo. Sup y'all? Jacquie hee-ah comin at ya from the Lonely Beach of Koh Chang, Thailand. You should be very jealous of me for the next 8 days cuz this is the friggen LIFE! So relaxing... waters so warm and clear and light greeny-blue with a golden beach... just what I needed I think. I love you Cambodia, but if I have to go home soon, I need some time to be alone with my thoughts and in a place that I had only dreamed of: no worries, no stress, just warmth and ocean.

I slept in a thai-style hut last night and was awoken by the call of my favorite little creature, the rooster, or as they say in Spain: the COCK. Friggen things. Right outside and under my hut too! haha You gotta laugh. So needless to say, I was up fairly early and decided to go on the hunt for a hut nearer the water and further the roosters. Check mark for that one! Right on the rocks, the ocean will lull me to sleep, the moon beams will stream through the cracks. Love it. I wrote a phrase last night that sounds kinda cool: "moon beams dance on the sea foam and white caps creating a silver lining on each wave". I dunno. I've been writing a lot lately.

I was journalling like a mad woman last night at the outdoor/lakeside Treehouse lounge. I would have liked to see what I must have looked like... heehee Anyhow, I was sitting there alone at the corner table in the back and well, "I was just sitting here with my head back as far as its tendons and muscles and finally bones would allow and I was looking up at the stars and the 1/2 moon, then down to their reflection in the water and I thought of this: '...and through the open window I think the singin went outside and floated up to tell all the stars not to hide, cuz by the time church let out the sky was much clearer and the moon was so beautiful that the ocean held up a mirror...' What magnificent words." Ya... I went on and on from one topic to another, inssessantly writing down every thought that flew by and caught my attention. I think it's due to the fact that I'm reading another Tom Robbins book called Jitterbug Perfume. He's always having an influence on my writing style and frequency.
I met a couple canadians - from Edmonton and Calgary AND they're welders - yesturday and saw them today on the beach. They asked me about Cambodia, about what I meant when I said "good luck". I told them a fraction of what I was actually feeling and thinking. They dismissed it and said "I'm here for a good time, not a long time". Totally and completely ignorant. The one dude more so than the one who goes by the name Garth. The other dude has this really negative energy about him and everything I said - whether it was about the beautiful things about Cambodia or about the food at the restaurant at which I ate - was shot down and stomped on, delivered with a smirk. Jerk. So, I got tired of it after a short while and said I needed a nap. I guess I could have gave him a piece of my mind, but after the comment he said about why he's going to Cambodia, I figured he just wasn't worth my breath and energy. I'm learning to choose my battles. Not everyone goes to 3rd world countries and feels compassion and love. Many just go where the party is. It's everyone's perogative and I'm not judging. I got that dark vibe from him and so I didn't go into detail about the kinds of experiences I had in Cambodia... they're too personal and close to my heart. I said if you can look past the poverty, you'll have an awesome time cuz the country's very beautiful and there's a pretty good party scene. I'm not gonna unload my shit on apathetic folks cuz I can be sure I won't receive compassion from them in return. I'll just have to wait til I'm home amongst the people I love for that kind of interaction.

So ya. Today I burnt my ass off on the beach. I went in the water numerous times and played around with the waves. I read my book a bit, it's one of my favs of Tom's I think. I took a shower, laid in the hammock, listened to So Much Shouting, So Much Laughter, and then came here to tell you all about it! And now I'm hungry so I'm gonna go satisfy my desire.

Would you rather have sun burn or frost bite? ;-p

and the beat goes on

It's been a while since I've posted and much has changed wrt experiences and geographical location of your's truly... so I'll start from the top.

January 30th
hmmmm... too far back and I can't remember. Carly left this day. I don't think I did much else than chill out, help Leigh doing various things... Oh ya, I was booked into the "family" room at Earthwalkers for this night and the next and so it was a HUGE room with 1 kingsize bed and 2 singles, a tv + cable, and 2 bathrooms! heehee I was supposed to be in a dorm room, but I would have been in there alone with a sketchy indian dude and I didn't feel comfortable, so I upgraded! Leigh crashed there with me both nights and I watched 3 Wil Smith flicks as well as Beavis & Butthead Do America. Fun.

January 31st
I chilled out most of the day, called my 'rents, read my book, checked out of Cambodia for a few hours upon entering this crazy sterile cafe called The Blue Pumpkin for some delicious quiche and devine iced coffee. Truly didn't feel like I was in a 3rd world country: sterile white decor, comfy white couch lining an entire length of a wall, if I had a laptop I would have had access to free wireless net... weird, but it had AC and so I was happy.

Something terrible happened this night though... a middle-aged aussie dude named Peter was found in a park: head bashed in, robbed, and left unconscious to die. He was brought to the provincial hospital where he received mediocre "care", had been unconscious still when Leigh got the call and we both rushed over, 16 hours after he was brought in. Peter had been living in Cambodia for 10 years, had no contact with his family back home, and when he didn't show up for work this morning Tony and Muriel (the aussies who owned the plumbing outfit) had cause to worry. The polic filed no report, and the embassy wasn't going to do anything for him until Rahul (of DMGF) applied some pressure... Rahul pretty much made everything happen as far as getting this man proper care, but let me tell you, it was an intense evening. I had never seen a human being more badly beaten than this dude was, it made me sick to my stomach to know that no one cared about him just cuz he was broke. It made me think about how I would have been treated had it have been me found in that park... scary. Apparently the next night another "barang" (foreigner) was found in the same way, except it was a woman. The moral? Don't walk around alone at night in Siem Reap or any place really... Peter was shipped to Bangkok where it was discovered he likely won't make it afterall. His head injuries were too severe and he developped infection in his lungs since he wasn't properly treated as soon as he was brought in. If he lives, he'll live the rest of his life as vegetable. My condolences to all who cared for him.

We went out for beers and pizza down on Bar Street and hung out with the street kids. They are always loads of fun and excitement. I'm really gonna miss that...

February 1st
I moved my circus to a different location: The Green Bamboo. This is where Leigh lives and I got to stay for free! That's always nice. No cable though, just good conversation, met some good people and made some great contacts.

Febryary 2nd
same same

February 3rd
This day was FULL ON. The day started at 8am when we headed down to the childre's hospital for DMGF's 2nd anual unloading of the 40 ft. truck of medical and miscelaneous donations! It was weird being a part of this since I had only days earlier watched the documentary from the year before. It was good fun, again I met many awesome people doing various awesome things for Siem Reap and the surrounding villages. Lots fo work though and I know nothing about medical supplies and so trying to organize it all was a bit of challenge... I did ok though I think! All the donations were distributed accordingly to the NGOs and hospitals and FCF picked up: 5 computers, a shit load of the discusting meal replacement bars that no one back home would give their dog, a shit load of vitamines, blankets, clothes, teddies, books... Leigh is a very happy camper, except for the fact that she has to give it all away before she leaves Cambodia to go home on the 10th! haha So we piled it all in her "office" and the day was only just beginning...

THEN we went with this canadian dude named Shaun to pick up some water filters to give out to the vietnamese families who live at Tonle Sap Village (the floating one I blogged about before?). They bought 90 and stored 80 in Leigh's "office"... the other 10 we brought as a trial run to test if they actually work for them. So, Leigh, Shaun, his irritating and nagging girlfriend, Amir (the camera dude who shot the documentary of last year and this year), Dave (a constable who vollunteers with Global Medics), a translator, and I went out to the smelly village, hopped on a boat and sailed off to provide clean drinking water for 10 families. How awesome is that??? Crazy.

After a full on busy day, we got back, showered and went for some yummy thai food... with the "gang" and Rahul and some other volumteers of DMGF.

February 4th
Leigh and Meniya took the little Green Bamboo puppy named Bubba to the vet cuz he had a HUGE lump in his throat that was cutting off his breathing and his ability to swallow. He was to be operated on...

Leigh and I organized her "office"! Wow. What a job! It was packed full and we took everything out, took an inventory, and then packed everything back in and it actually looks like a great little office now! heehee Hard work. Apparently I am a princess...

Bubba died during surgery... the lump was an infection that leaked down into his lungs and he couldn't be saved. He was only 8-10 weeks old. We cried for him. I'm sorry Leigh.

Went for dinner with Amir and was engaged in awesome conversation. He's a really good contact to have... and of course, an awesome person with beautiful ideals and goals.

February 5th
Hopped in a taxi with this dude Ray whom I had overheard yesturday talking about wanting someone to share the cost to Bangkok. Oppertunity was knockin and I answered: 3 hours to the boarder is better than 8. Talk about bumpy road though!!! Almost got car sick! The bus to Bangkok was nice, met a Khmer woman (and her 2 beautiful children) who was kind enough to lend me her Lonely Planet so I could research Ko Chang a bit before heading there tomorrow. Upon arrival, I bought my bus ticket to Trat where I will then catch a ferry to the glorious island of Koh Chang. I found a hotel here on Kao San Rd. for a reasonable price, bought some beanies (just for you Carly!), some clothes just for me, and a phone card. Yay! I can't wait til tomorrow! Leigh will hopefully be meeting me in Koh Chang on the 10th since her cambodian visa will have run out on that day and she must return home on the 27th (if not sooner). I really hope she comes cuz she is an AMAZING woman. It's so awesome to meet such wonderful souls whom I wouldn't have otherwise met had I not left home. I'm lucky. I love my life. There's so much good left to do in it!!!

I'll try and write again soon, although I'm not sure about internet access out there... who knows though! I'm thinking of everyone. I love you. Stay warm!